The New Year Escape Plan: A Different Kind of Resolution

One good thing about a recession is that it gets people thinking.  The sea of uncertainty separates the rodents who can jump, from those who prefer to go round in a wheel. A recession builds as much as it breaks, demanding initiative and independent determination from the individual who sees opportunity.

Unfortunately such an individual may go unprovoked for the majority of the year, distracted by the monotony of the yearly cycle, justified by the supposed worthiness of their contribution to the wheel of society. Yes, they silence that nagging voice that urges there could be more by plodding away in the system, allowing the years materialistic and artificial milestones to allow the illusion of progress. Yet ever so often something wonderful happens, circumstances align to awaken the individual to hope...a hope for more. And I mean a real more, not a more as in more things, more money, more clothes. More as in make more of a difference, more as in more happiness, more as in more success. This awakening is perhaps never more widespread as The New Year.

The New Year is an opportunity to pause and review, to look back at what one has been doing and evaluate if it is working. Typical New Years Resolution’s tend to favour a todo list of self improvements such as loosing weight or being nicer. Such resolutions are fine for the person who is more or less happy with their position on the rat wheel of society. However I would argue that for those individuals who know in their heart there is more, such resolutions are a cheap temporary filler for a permanent gaping hole.

Let me break it down some more, if you hate your job, if you are under appreciated and under paid, if you have a dream or a vision for contributing more to the world, if you have a business idea- if you have any of these, and your New Years Resolution is along the lines of ‘be nicer to Sally’ or ‘drop 10 pounds’  you’re selling your self short.

Let your resolution be to sort your life out. I know thats daunting. I know thats a lot. I know that it is certainly more of a challenge then a neatly packaged pre suggested generic resolution, but it is what actually needs resolving. Each time you sit in that job you hate, with no plan of escape, or put off your traveling or charity work, or shelf your big idea you are abusing your spirit. Now let me be clear, I am not saying quit, sell up thy things and follow my teachings. I am simply saying make the resolution to water the seed of potential in you.

What does that look like you ask? Picture your mind is in a prison. When you first got into this prison, you had dreams of escape, dreams of more than the existence thrust upon you, but as time moved on reality took over the dream, and like a broken horse, you accustomed yourself to your surroundings and accepted your lot.  I am trying to help you escape.

The first step of escape is to realise that one is trapped. I think we have established that. The second step to escape is to visualise life on the other side, feed your dreams and acknowledge their realness. The third step is to plan escape, and the forth is to actually escape.

This year put into place a plan to get closer to your dream. That may take the form of sacrificing your ‘free time’ to research, plan and build. That may sound like a bummer but let me say this- it’s not free time until you are actually free, and doing what you were born to do.  

So, if you feel that New Year Itch, scratch it. Work hard, Act fast. Set goals and work towards them now. January is like a rapidly closing window of awakening. If you don’t establish a plan now, pretty soon the monotony of the wheel will have entrapped you into its superficial routine. Time is precious, and so are you. If you know you are not living to your full potential, resolve to rectify this in 2016 . I know times are tough and uncertain and blah blah blah- but these are the times you were dealt. And news flash the world has never been easy. You owe it to yourself. Escape.

This article was originally written and posted by me on 06 Jan 2014. To see original post click here

Packing for Paradise

After spending Christmas in beautiful yet brutally cold Ireland, I truly do feel like I have well and truly earned this upcoming trip to Barbados. There is nothing like a little winter break to get the new year on to a winners track. Packing for paradise is so easy- I am literally traveling with hand luggage- in my small carry on bag- these are my loves:

1. Lace Bralette and Knickers from Ann Summers.

Why I am packing it : Great for wearing under shirts and crop tops, bralettes offer that sexy freedom that a conventional bra just can't. This beautiful crochet bralette set is everything. Black, chic and minimal is is the perfect light weight addition to a holiday wardrobe and also goes beautifully under a slip dress.

Wila Bralet, £16 Shop Here:

http://www.annsummers.com/erotic/erotic-shop-by-category/erotic-shop-by-category-peephole-and-open-bras/willa-bra/WILLA-BRA.html?dwvar_WILLA-BRA_size=191&dwvar_WILLA-BRA_color=006#start=9



2. Juicy Couture Perfume.

Why: This perfume has a story on how it came to me. I was getting my eyebrows treaded and noticed the lady who was threading me had the most beautiful scent. I asked her what it was and to my suprise its Juicy Couture Perfume. Light, sweet and fresh it is the perfect Island Girl fragrance.

3, Glamour Magazine

Why: This issue is a great one. With cover girl Daisy Ridley and amazing style inspiration it will give me some great flight entertainment.

4. Charbonnet et Walker Pink Champagne Truffles

Why: Do you have to ask?

Lust List: 3 Stunning Lip Colours From Avon

Following the Avon Beauty Bus I discovered these three amazing lip colour shades that I simply must share.

First up is this stunning shocking pink called Magenta Flash. I am seriously not one for bright pink lipstick usually as I don't think it suits me, however this shade is lovely.  Bright with rich undertones, it is the perfect way to add a pop of colour to a nude makeup look and love your lips with a bold shade. I think this tone would suit most skin types and is a great stocking filler idea for Christmas. You can buy online at www.AvonShop.co.uk

Next from the upcoming Matte collection  are two colours I can't choose between. Since I have had these colours I have literally been alternating them both every other day.

The matte one is called All Natural, and I love purely because I am shocked to have found a nude shade that actually easily suits my skin tone. As my lips are large but not defined, I line with my Mac Spice lipliner and the two work together so beautifully. This colour is perfect for if you do not have large lips but would like to get that Jenner pout. This matte colour will be available in early 2016.

Finally we have this gorgeous shade for colder months from the matte collection. Named superb wine, this rich colour compliments nude makeup beautifully. 

Avon offers a great range of colours which double up as the perfect stocking fillers for a beauty lover like myself (hint hint family). If you would like to shop their collection for Christmas see here   http://avonshop.co.uk/beauty/c/make-up/lips.html x 

Sight-skating Around Paris

My love and I had the pleasure of visiting Paris after a wedding in Chantilly. We were lucky enough to arrive on the day of the Fete De La Musique, where the whole of Paris was in song. Every courner had a block party, from early in the day to late at night. Being the wannabe hipsters that we apparently are, Kieran and I elected to bring our wheels (his Penney, my Micro Scooter) and see the most of Paris, with the freedom to stop as we wanted. It was a perfect day.

Kieran looking suave

So many beautiful details in Paris

The Louvre

We chose scooter and skateboards as main mode of transport. No better way to travel around a city

Portugal Summer Destination SS15

If you have't made plans to go to Portugal this summer I suggest you get to it pronto. This year, I have the pleasure of going to Portugal for a hen do of my girl Wendy. It was only a 3 day trip so I packed light and still felt like it was too much. Flying into Faro we stayed in Portimão which is a lovely beach town with beach side bars and lounges.

The accommodation was an apartment instead of a hotel which was a much better option it was so roomy and plush. We got up to paddle boarding, late brunches by the beach side (the food over there is amazing & cheap) cheeky afternoon drinks by the pool, and more than a few Irish bars (they are everywhere).

Margarita's by the sea, obviously

This is the hair I chose to install for this holiday. It is kinky straight hair from my hair company Law + Miaw and it was perfect for abroad as it matched my natural texture in humidity. I ombre'd the ends with 20 vol developer and bleach for that sun kissed look. Contact www.lawandmiaw.com to buy and customise

The group went paddle boarding. At first I was like hell naw (because of my weave) but it looked like they were having so much fun I had to join in. Plus no one fell off or got wet. Imagine a water activity which you can stay dry during. I think I have found my perfect sport!

I found this contrast colour block bra whilst over in Portugal. It was great because it kept my boobs under control which made me feel slimmer. You can get the same one from New Look : 

Life Hack : Overcoming Fear

If you're naturally an anxious person, there is no doubt that you have been told by well meaning peppy friends that the best way to overcome fear is to just "feel the fear and go for it" you know, do it anyway. This sounds great in principle, like an inspirational quote that should be written on a poster with panther, however in practice it's not so easy to silence your fears and positively push on.

My anxious friends, I feel you- there is certainly a scale of anxiety, and for those of you who are most severe, I strongly suggest seeking medical help, as severe anxiety is no joke, but for those moderates, I have come across a tactic that just might help you muster the courage and go for it.

The premise of this trick is inspired by Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now (a great book, must read). The central premise is, you are not your mind. Meaning there is a you that is infinitely powerful, and there is your mind. Your mind is full of worry, pain of past hurt and fear, it is the voice by which you evaluate situations. Eckhart encourages you to silence your mind and learn that sometimes it can be your biggest enemy.

Now it is difficult to silence your mind, some say its impossible, however after some consideration I decided that there is indeed some merit to separating your self (you at your best, who you were meant to be) from your weak, fretting mind. I decided to try something. To separate the thinking negative into one person in my mind (weakness) and develop another voice of strength. The voice of strength is focussed on what I want in life, and fed by my visualisations of a better life. The voice of weakness is that inevitable fearful voice, that gets in the way and usually psyches me out of doing what I need to do. Now that I had separated the two, negative thoughts could not run riot without being consciously checked. This is so important, as anyone with anxiety will know that left unchecked, one fearful thought will grow to a deafening riot. See your negative thoughts as bullies, bullies that given half the chance will have you living in fear, and never realising the life you were meant for. See your positive thoughts as your best friend, sticking up for you against the bullies and reminding you of why you're here, and that you can do it, pit the two against each other, and mindful of what you want out of life, ensure your best you wins!

I find this really helps me in situations where I feel fear getting the best of me and I hope it helps you too. I guess sometimes spilt personalities can be a good thing ;)

Loves and Finds: Crop Bustier from H and M

                    

Who says lingerie is just for wearing underneath?  I came across this crop bustier from H&M and thought it was just to beautiful to conceal!

Great with a high waisted skirt, jeans or trousers, this crop supports the boobs and dramatises an hour glass shape, whilst offering killer support.

I got mine from H&M who have some great bustiers for really reasonable prices. Check in store or see my favourites below.

Lace Bustier, £14.99

For those with a smaller chest, this is perfect. Also comes in white and nude!

Non wire, lace bustier £12.99

Sequined Bustier £12.99

Inner Space: Positive Thinking Class 1

I have recently determined myself to embark on a positive thinking journey, because I have realised that it is so important to not let life just happen. Just letting things happen= becoming a victim of life, and as powerful beings and intelligent creations, none of us should play that role, especially not in our own life! I have chosen to own the power I have to consciously steer my mind and my life upwards, so I have begun a mission of enlightenment and I invite you to join as I share my experiences and what I learn.

Inner Space Covent Garden: Positive Thinking Course, Week 1 Review

Yesterday Anna & I proactively headed to Covent Garden to listen in on a positive thinking talk run by InnerSpace. Their classes are free & run by volunteers, who are passionate about creating a happier, fulfilled planet. You can check their classes here : http://www.innerspace.org.uk/event_category/courses-in-covent-garden/

I really enjoyed the class, and learned some worthwhile principals I simply must share:

The Garden.

Thoughts are seeds.

A good thought = good fruit
A bad thought= bad fruit.

A bad seed will not reap good positive fruits in your life and will lead to a negative mind.

Your mind is your garden. This makes you the gardener. 

It is important to realise and own the fact that YOU are in charge of your mind, your thoughts, emotions and how you feel. No one can make you plant a seed, ie you do not have to let someone else's negativity grow in your garden.

The Fence=  is your filter

Your mind is precious, and must be protected. Don't just let people chuck litter in your garden and then accept it. For example, someone can be negative to you, but it is up to you whether or not you choose to let that seed grow in your garden, or weed it out. It is up to you to tend to your mind. If you want a positive mindset and a positive mind you will have to work for it.

Analysing thoughts, ie. the seeds:

It is important to recognise the importance of your thoughts. Whether you believe in the law of attraction or spirituality, all agree that everything starts with a thought. The Law Of Attraction goes as far to say that "thoughts become things". Meaning negativity reaps negativity & positivity reaps positivity whilst spiritualists believe that thoughts become your mindset and can lead to a positive, healthy mind, or a negative unhealthy mind. In any case, it is important you evaluate your thoughts constantly.

Yesterday I learned that there are 4 kinds of thoughts.

Negative: things like envy, anger, hate, worry and jealousy
Positive: love, appreciation, gratefulness and happiness
Waste: non productive thoughts, mind wandering, planning things you don't need to worry about
Necessary: the thoughts you need to function.

The aim is to be mindful of what kind of thought you are having before you continue wandering down a path. It is also important to know that sometimes a good thought can lead to a bad one if you are not mindful of your thoughts.

For example:

"Wow she has beautiful hair" (appreciation) can become "I wish I had her hair" ( envy) "My hair sucks"- (self hate and not helpful)

I reasoned that a good practise is to measure each thought against gratefulness, as gratefulness is the root of happiness and the magic of the law of attraction. A negative thought is in essence ungrateful. In this state, good things do not happen.

Take Away Nugget

I have learnt that firstly it is crucially important that I acknowledge that I am in control of my emotions, my thoughts and my mood. This is how I can learn to be effect life instead of have it affect me. This means that I have power over my life, and you have power over yours. Powerlessness is a lie. Every time you take on someones negativity and let that seed grow, you are giving away your power and selling yourself short. So this week I want to challenge you with the same task they gave me :

Approach every circumstance and every thought  this week using SOS.

S= Stand Back
O= Observe
S= Steer

Stand back, away from the emotions of the moment, or craziness,
Observe the thoughts you are having where they are going, how they are shifting your mood.
Steer your mind into a more positive place, remembering that you are in control over YOUR life and YOUR mind.

I am going back to the class next Tuesday & look forward to sharing more. Anyone I can bring along with me on the journey to positivity I will :)

Have a fantastically powerful week.

New Look SS15 Preview: Le Sportif, Magical Marrakech & The 70s

Yesterday New Look unveiled their SS15 collection. Popular SS15 trends that feature are bold prints, sleek sportswear and a 70s revival. The collection has a fun holiday vibe, having me wishing for long summer nights somewhere tropical. Along the theme of irreverent holidays, favourite element of the collection was the cheeky slogan accessories and swimsuits. Check them out below.

Le Sportif

As the title would suggest this capsule is a chic & minimal take on the sports wear trend which is taking over SS15 accross the board. The sleek monochromatic pallette allows for easy adjustment into even the most conservative Parisians city wardrobe, whilst metallic accessories ensure that the collection is streetwear ready.

70s

It's the day your funky aunt prayed for, the 70s are certainly back. This daring era sees print clash, denim, brown and flares, which can actually be quite flattering on a curvy figure. About time! I have been over these blasted show all skinnies for years now -_-

Magical Marrakech

Representing prints  to the fullest, is Magical Marrakech. Printed crop tops, shorts, dresses and jumpsuits in colours ranging from cool subtle blues to warm desert reds.

Swim Wear

Beautifully intricately designed swimsuits for that pool wow factor

Beach please, I'm fabulous.

Metallic Accessories with holiday anthems

Give Presence Lulu Lemon Campaign

Anything that can make me take a retrospective look within I welcome. These days with so many distractions and things to do, I honestly feel like I have emotional ADHD. And is it any wonder? With Facebook in your palm, and Instagram at the tip of your finger there is a whole world of things begging your attention and your emotional engagement. Stimulating headlines and convicting images, how can the simple intimate moments of just spending time with family and loved ones compete with the buzz of what's online.

 For me it has become drastic. I actually never switch off and as a result, never actually plug in. Today I came across this powerful video by LuLu Lemon, which compels us to give presence. It challenges us to show up, emotionally and spiritually in our engagements with friends and family. You only get one life that you can be sure of. Isn't it time you showed up for the thinks that matter? This is an especially powerful message for the holiday season. This Christmas instead of focusing on giving replaceable presents, why not give the irreplaceable gift of your presence? Share the message of love.

Link To Video & to Share

Avon #wallofsilence Campaign against Domestic Violence

Domestic violence tragically affects 1 in 4 women in the UK. A silent killer, domestic violence thrives behind closed doors, flourishes in silence and is fuelled by fear. In 2009 Avon, a company built for and powered by women,  decided to shine a light on the masked monster, donating £1.5 million, during their Speak Out Against Domestic Violence Campaign. This year they are back and bigger than ever, with the #wallofsilence campaign, which was conceptualised by Charli Bailey, a surviver of domestic violence and is in association with Glamour Magazine, Women's Refuge & Women's Aid.

How it works is the public (that's you, my lovely) are asked to upload a 'sshselfie' to Instagram or Twitter, with the #wallofsilence and @avon_UK. Every sshselfie will be uploaded to their website to form a wall of solidarity, against domestic violence. For every sshselfie taken, Avon will donate £1 to be split between worthy charities Women's Refuge & Women's Aid, who offer financial support, emotional support and guidance to women who are victims of domestic violence. The great thing about this campaign is everybody can get involved, no matter what your budget, as they are not asking for your money, they are asking for your support.

Earlier this year I watched the tragic true life drama by the BBC titled, 'Murdered by My Boyfriend'. The film followed the life of a bright young girl who fell victim abusive relationship, which would ultimately lead to her death. Whilst she attempted to leave a few times, the obstacles she faced were ones that are common to many women who suffer domestic violence. She had a daughter, which meant that what ever move she would make, she had to be financially secure and she was terrified and terrorised by her partner who had forced her into silence for far too long. It struck me how this awful tragedy could have been avoided, if only she had more support.

Charities like Women's Aid & Women's Refuge offer this support, to attempt to stop any more women from suffering in pain or death at the hands of her abusive partner ever again. Now you can take up the fight too. Stand up against domestic violence, show your solidarity by uploading your ssh selfie with the #wallofsilence @avon_uk and joining the #wallofsilence, encouraging women to speak out and empowering the charities that help them when they do.

We can rid our society of this terrible silent killer. Please post share, tweet, stand together for women.

More ways to help:

If after uploading your selfie you would like to do more, you can purchase the special Avon nail polish in forget me not blue, in which 50% of the proceeds will be donated to the charities mentioned. www.Avonshop.co.uk

If you would like to donate, text WALL to 70500 to donate £5

Whether or not you can afford to give, we can all give our time to do a simple selfie. For the sake of every woman you know who may be suffering in silence, please help Avon end domestic violence today.

Thank you x

Coast SS15 Preview.

If you know me at all you will know that I am a huge fan of Coast. Statement drama pieces that transform an ordinary city stroll show stopping extravaganza- what's not to love? Far from the occasional bridal wear indulgence, Coast offers statement pieces which transform the everyday ordinary outfit to outstanding. I have been campaigning for women to use some imagination, embrace their fabulosity and bring high drama items from Coast into their everyday lives for a while now. Go nuts! SS15 sees, statement singles, that can be worn together or alone, accessorised with a t-shirt or dressed up with diamonds, the combinations are as endless as they are fearless.

Think Carrie Bradshaw, from Sex In The City, never the wallflower, she was known for her high drama extravagant pieces, styled with flair. Who says you need an occasion to be fabulous?

SS15 Coast collection:

Simple Lux.

Simple Lux enjoys soft pastels, pretty pinks, bashful blues and complimenting creams, occasionally embellished with gemstone details, luxurious lace and shimmering sparkles. Despite all this the collection still manages to be refreshingly light, this part of the collection sees understated easy elegance personified with unique pieces, which stand out on their own whilst simultaniously possessing an elegant subtlety that enables them to be worn together with other items in the collection without clash.

Look 01 Artemis Waterfall Coat, Bliss Top, Paoma Trousers  |  Look 2 Bow Back Dress

New Romance

Takes a modern approach to classic sophistication. A lined printed skirts are paired with lacy bomber jackets for a remix of a classic love story. As well as some great dresses, this section of the collection offers brilliant statement singles that can be dressed up or down to match your mood or personal style.

Nolita Coat, Molly Dress

60's Mono

Power dressing takes a new form with 60's silhouettes, bold lines and a confident monochrome palette.


Luminous Blooms.

Here is where you can really inject some life into your SS15 wardrobe with vibrant modern prints on statement pieces.

Bliss Top, Hyper Bloom Skirt

Modern Muse,
Last but not least, Coast presents Modern Muse, a collection which is a celebration classic of femininity, elegance and charm. Vintage glamour is revisited to create iconic looks which encourages every woman to swap flats for glass slippers, and play the leading lady (if only for a day).

Lessons On Living Shamelessly

Ever wondered what life would be like if you were shameless? Not pointlessly shameless like Kardashians butt pick, but you were decidedly and unapologetically who you wanted to be with no apologies.

Too often, embarrassment, fear of rejection and the wounds of past failures pain hinder us taking the most of an opportunity and living in the now. Yet if we look back at it, more often than not it is not the actual incident that was so bad, it was the emotional pain, chastisement and fear that we attributed to ourselves.

The gift of hindsight truly is a wonderful thing, yet the downsides of death bead revelations, is that it is all too late. To that, I am going to attempt to save you some time with a quote.

"Everything you want lies the other side of your fear". Shame is a useless emotion, the only person you should worry about letting down is you. And the only thing truly hard to forgive yourself for is not the risks you took that didn't pay off, rather it's the risks you didn't take that could of.

So today, I say feel the fear and go for it. The only person you will truly let down if you don't is yourself.

You Can Have Him, But Do You Really Want Him?

Girl meets boy. Boy starts flirting with girl. Girl likes boy. Girl finds out that boy has a girlfriend. Girl is like WTF?

Sadly, its a tale as old as time scenario which I am sure we have all experienced, witnessed or advised on. You meet a guy who seems perfect, and what is even more perfect is he definitely likes you. Everything is going swimmingly until someone else, in some cases him, drops the bomb that he has a girlfriend. What is even weirder? His flirty behaviour and longing looks don't stop now the jig is up. If anything, they get stronger. Here you find yourself in a weird WTF twilight zone. 

I have witnessed so many friends go though this. Nice girls. Who have sat back so many times before and watched a ballsier girl get the guy, or had a ballsier girl in the same situation, steal theirs. After a while of nice girls finishing last, a few have asked me should they just mean up and take him. I mean, he obviously isn't happy, in many cases he may have even told them so. Maybe he just needs a helping hand. You are clearly what he wants and for once in your life its time you won something right? Wrong. He aint no prize honey.

Why? In this situation the ball is entirely in his court. Whilst I understand how he could meet someone else (you) he likes more than his current (shit happens) it is totally not OK to just pine emotionally for someone else (you) for too long without any action to rectify his home situation and move on. Men like this are weak. They do no favours to you, or his current girlfriend.

I mean, who the hell does he think he is? Has he even told his girlfriend that he is having second thoughts in the relationship, giving her a chance or a heads up? Or does he just think he is some kind of irresistible pimp that both you must want? I bet that if his girlfriend knew he wasn't 100% in, she could start winking back at a few men in her life too. But he is not giving her that benefit is he? No, because he likes holding all the cards. You're blind, she's blind, he's a pimp.

Personally, one of the worst things in the world for me is to be with a man who secretly wants someone else but is too chicken to tell me. You having second thoughts bruh? I like to know these things because if you don't want to be here, I don't want to keep you here. This isn't jail, and I am not your parole officer. So many times guys build it up in their head like they are doing their girlfriend a favour by sticking with her when they would rather move on, but in reality that is just boosting their ego. 

Anyway back to you. You don't want to get in on this messy BS. Dip you toe in and you will surely drown.  He is the one who needs to recognise his feelings and act accordingly. Like a man. He should sort out his relationship first and if it is worth salvaging- do that. If it is dead, he needs to end it- and then come for you. Otherwise he is just weak- someone who gazes at what they want without the courage to go get it. And do you really want a guy like that? Only for you to have him and then in a few years he starts pining for your friends, whilst in his head you are second best? No honey. To someone else you will be first. 

My advice, do nothing. Keep being nice (he may be sorting things out in the background) but DO NOT get involved. A relationship takes a lot of unpacking and there is enough to sort out between the two of them without you. You will only become collateral damage if he does sort it out with his girlfriend and if he leaves her due to your advances, you end up with a booby prize- a weak man, who can't act on what he wants.

That's my take on it anyway. Hope it was helpful :)

Any questions? Email me at info@lifebylois.com

Love,

Lois

Life By Lois

Interiors: SS15 BHS

BHS Homes unveil a vibrant, eclectic instalment from their SS15 collection: Columbia Road: Think Crochet cushions, hand painted drawers & dainty floral tea sets, perfect for the optimistic & quirky among us (think Jessica Day from New Girl). The accessories & furnishings  from the collection possess a unique romantic country charm and authentic treasured nature of thrift store finds & grandmas antiques.

The floral prints from the duvets are authentically hand painted via water colour by BHS designers and replicated throughout the collection.

With comforting knit throws, hand-painted drawers and beautiful tea sets, it’s a timeless collection to be loved and cherished for years to come.

Celebrity style master class. How to look fat when you're not.

First up, this has nothing to do with weight and these women are certainly not fat, this is to prove that whatever weight you are, the wrong clothes, in the wrong order can conspire against the best of us. But don't worry, I am here to show you where the are the pitfalls and how to avoid them.

I actually Googled to see if Kiera Knightly was pregnant after seeing her in this dress on the Jonathan Ross Show. But no, it is all the fault of this shapeless, criminal dress.

1.  Rule number 1. Don't wear clothes that are too big and have no tailoring.

Even if you are slim, this is a no no. What ever size you are, tailoring is your friend. This dress is criminal. If one must ignore ones waist, opt for a well tailored, straight cut shift dress ( think Twiggy in the 60s). However this dress breaks all the rules of flattery , its shapeless and has a poor attempt at design through these awful curved  lines around the boobs and stomach, giving a convincing illusion of big belly and droopy boobs.

Face stunning, skirt certainly stunning- not sure in a good way, but I'll let it slide, this outfit is a combination of the typical how to look fat no no's.

Rule 2.
Let big boobs breathe.

Ladies with big boobs hear me now. Nothing makes us look bigger than covering up large ta ta's with a crew neck. it gives uni boob. You have to let those girls breathe.  A skin tight crew neck with horizontal lines is one sure way to make you look bigger than you are. 

Rule 3.
Don't get too busy. All the patterns and horizontal lines and tightness just equal an overall too busy look that is unflattering and fattening.

Learn to Say No

For women particularly simply saying no is something that is laden with guilt. We are taught that feminine role is one that is traditionally accommodating, long suffering and gracious.

From the Virgin Mary to my nana, I have grown up watching & learning about women who were martyrs, putting themselves last, 'yes ladies'. And it has completely affected my life. I am the poster child of a yes woman. Not wanting to let friends down, it is not uncommon for me to drop everything to get on board with anyone who asks. Time has shown me that this is not an ok, sustainable way to live. So I have started to practice saying no- and you know what- it's so liberating. 

I know it's so hard to say no. For the most part, it's a habit. It's a tough habit to break, but it's worth breaking. 

You see your yes should be precious, not something you simply give away to be polite. When approached with a proposition or a favour, seriously evaluate the benefits and risks, and if you haven't got the time, effort or energy just say no! 

How else can you possibly expect to be the boss of your own life if you ignore your better judgement to take up the tasks of others over your own priorities. 

This is your life and you are your main priority. Some people will just ask and ask until you have nothing left. It does not make you a bad person to say no. It makes you a conscious person. It's totally ok, look at Rosa Parks- one No can change the world. 

 This week I challenge you to say no. There is probably a bunch of things you say yes to on a daily basis you don't even notice. At work, with friends- at expense of your priorities. I'm not saying go nuts and be completely obtuse, just be mindful of your yes to no ratio. It doesn't make you a bitch, by saying no you are saying yes to yourself- and isn't it time you did that? 

Happy Sunday!

X

Loves & Finds : Zara Duffle Coat

Perusing the aisles of Zara as I am known to do I came across this gorgeous Duffel coat with over sized fur trimmed hood.  I fell in love and had to share.  There is nothing like the embrace of fur around your face, and the comfort & security an oversized hood brings. I am really impressed with the quality of faux fur these days, gone are the days of rough rat tailed trimmings, now faux fur presents it self as a real fashionistas alternative to animal fur. 

Below is the link to buy x

Zara, Duffle coat £159.99