Top 3 Monday Motivation Video's

How you doing this rainy Monday?  In case you need a little more than coffee to give you that fighting kick start this week, I have decided to share 3 of my favourite motivational videos to get you off to a good start this week.

The believe that the key to a positive and successful life is to monitor your emotions and stay in control of your mindset. If you are feeling crappy and down, that's totally ok, but you must catch it, and seek to fix it. When I feel "meh" I have to be so careful, because it doesn't take long for negativity to take a hold and change the course of the day. To steer myself in an upwards direction I find it helps to inject my mind with some positive affirmation, some go getter motivation and all around hearty food for your soul.  Today's feel good cooks featuring in my soul kitchen are Will Smith, Eric Thomas, JK Rolling, Oprah and Michelle Obama.

Chin up my lovelies, it's totally ok not to feel perky all the time, but the right words can change your outlook on life and it all gets better from there. Hope these helped, they certainly helped me.

Love, 

Life by Lois

1. Inspiration for Women

2. Dream

3. Will Smith Life Motivation 

The Bank of You: How to build inner confidence.

So how does one get as confident as hair flipping Beyonce, or as powerful as billionaire Oprah or as strong as Jennifer Anniston? (Who I think is one of the most commendable and classy women on the planet, who despite how the media tears into her, still keeps her head high).

How does one manage to build that unshakable confidence? Well for one, confidence is never unshakable, there will always come moments that have you questioning yourself- the difference with these people (and now with you) is that they will not last long- because they have a system and a mindset for managing their internal well being.

All the powerful women I admire Beyonce, Oprah and Victoria Beckham (yes, her, she went from a one of the spice girls and a footballers wife to an independent business powerhouse, recognised in her own right), all these woman have one thing in common- they see themselves as bigger than just a person- they treat themselves like a corporation.

The way our society is set up is that people are the little men and corporations call the shots. The banks and even the company you work for, has their contracts and agreements sewn up with you so that they are on the winning side. My point is it is time for individuals to start thinking the same.

This is where I introduce my concept of a bank. The Bank Of YOU.

Picture your self as a bank. Banks operate in their own interest. Here is how it works.

Basic principals:

Your Balance or capital:

Your balance is the most important thing and is made up of your time, energy and good feelings.
Any time you invest any of the above in someone else, you are investing for a return, of either time energy or good feelings.

Deposits:

Deposits are something anyone, including you can make. If you meet someone and they invest in you constantly, it may be worth opening an account with that person, where you too invest in them, under the understanding of mutual gain.

As banks invest their capital for their own benefit, so should you

Spend some time and energy investing in yourself, to generate good feelings. Feelings of confidence, feelings of self worth- which can be built up via meditation, time alone or gaining further skills. This will build up your balance further, and make you better prepared for rainy days. If you do not invest in yourself, ultimately your bank will not be viable.

Managing relationships.

Withdrawals: Withdrawals are things that people in your life may do, within the privilege of having a relationship with you. A withdrawal is any thing that consumes your time, energy or good feelings. You allow your friends to make these withdrawals, under the condition that they invest the same or more overall. For example, you may let your friend tell you all about their problems, and you may invest your energy in helping. However if it comes to the point where they withdraw far more than they have ever invested, the relationship makes no business sense and it is time to close their account. This is how you monitor your balance and ensure you do not crash. You cannot have emotional free-loaders.

Your friendships and relationships should work like a savings account, in which you invest a certain amount or your time, energy and good feelings over a length of time, and the friend or partner invests theirs. If someone is just gathering interest, and always withdrawing you need to move on from them.

Looking after the pennies

Far to often we hold on to the experiences that are negative on our emotional bank balance (being hurt or making mistakes) and we do not hold on to the good things that can boost our balance. They may just be little things, like someone saying your beautiful, talented funny or doing extra well at work one day, but they matter. And you need to be sure that you invest these good things to increase your balance and refer to whenever you are in self doubt.

Monitoring your balance

If you are particularly low in time, energy or good feelings- then do not invest them in others. Take time to rebuild your balance, so that you do not find yourself emotionally bankrupt. Keep your cup full so that negative things just slide off you, or so that you are emotionally prepared to deal with anything at all times.

Why is this principal so important?

The bank principal, enables you to keep in control of your emotional wellbeing, and ultimately builds confidence. It also helps you to keep a tab on who in your life is taking but not giving. This means that you will not be taken for granted as much, and find yourself emotionally bankrupt when you need to strong. By using this method of reasoning you will always ensure you have a minimum balance of what you need to continue. So as life happens you can always be ready. No one can take you down. You have invested in the bank of you.

One does not become confident by accident. It is a choice and it starts with conscientiously managing your relationships, your time and your energy. It is time to be the boss of your own life and steer your future to more happiness, fulfilment and inner peace.

You can do it! If you have any questions you would like me to answer, then please email me. info@lifebylois.com

Life By Lois

Don't quit your day dream

It happens to the best and brightest of us, somewhere between graduation hopes and student loan reality, we settled down into a job that for a lot of us wasn't exactly what we pictured- but hey, it pays the bills.

Now I am not here to beat you up for paying the bills, even if it is in a job miles away from what your passion or dream was. What I am here to beat you up for is neglecting your day dream. There is nothing wrong with having a 9-5 or 5-9 that takes care of basics, the problem comes when the path that helps you survive not live  takes over your passion or your dreams.

Your 9-5 survival job should only be just that, for surviving. Do not place it above the time and thought and consideration you owe yourself & what you really want to do. Always keep that dream alive, it may be through a second job, a weekend project or even an online blog (like this one) but make sure you keep one foot in the dream.

Why? Because this is ultimately what will keep you going in the hard times, and motivate you to continue with the daily grind. You see in our society we all have it twisted.

We work so that we can survive. We give up our passions to save effort and focus on work. Our dreams then become replaced with material dreams and milestones, which we use to numb the fact that we gave up our true dreams and passions, and between 9-5 don't feel like we are living.  We buy things to make us feel like we are living the life, but really all these things do is temporarily fill a make shift hole that can only truly be fulfilled by living our purpose.

Don't get me wrong- there is nothing wrong with owning things, but this was never to be a substitute for owing your life. Do not get the symptoms of success (car, house, money) distract you from the cause of success (happiness, truly doing what you are good at). When you take care of your day dreams, the symptoms of success will follow in abundance AND you will be happy.

You were meant to be brilliant. Whatever your day dream was or is, re-ignite it. Dust it off and work on it. And it will grow. I promise you that. I know at first it will feel like a lot of work to maintain alongside the daily grind, but what you are really doing is keeping yourself alive.

The worst thing in life is the regret of paths not taken. Don't loose your dream building someone else's.

Monday Survival: Stop Judging Yourself.

If you are not quite where you want to be in life Sunday night and the Monday commute can be real moments of reckoning. As you prepare to jump back it to your routine it is so easy to get stressed out about your short comings, unfinished projects and all the things that you feel you should be doing, that you are not. The frustration between where you are and where you want to be can be so aggravating, that you actually internalise that nervous energy and start to beat yourself up with stress.

Whilst reflective honest review is good, you also have to be careful that this does not mean that you are beating up the one thing that you rely on to progress (you). Wherever you are in life, give yourself a break- you are trying your best. And if you haven't been trying your best, forgive yourself, and rest in the knowledge that this week you can change it all around.

This Monday I would like you to go easy on yourself. Give your self a pat on the back for all the things you are doing right. Are there things you would like to change? Sure, and we will get to how to set about these later in the week, but for today, give your self some credit. You survived Monday.

You awesome fighter you.

Life by Lois.

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WANTED: That Saturday Feeling Everyday

Ah that Saturday feeling. It is not hard to stay optimistic on a Saturday, its the first day of the weekend, and no matter what happens, aint no one gonna kill your vibe.  It's not that someone wont try today, it is just that somehow on a Saturday we find it easier to elevate our mood away from negativity because Saturday's are our time and our time is precious.

Great motto, but what about the week days? How often do we allow negative people and negative things to own our moods, our dreams and our energy in the week? Too often we just expect to wake up miserable on a weekday because 'hey, its a weekday'. Our mood spirals from the first moments we wake up and we carelessly allow our mood to spiral from there.

We engage in bad news when we read the paper, we bitch about work and our colleges and when something goes wrong, instead of elevate ourselves, we hold on to the negativity and carry it through our day.

But no more. I say start everyday with that Saturday feeling, and protect your happiness through out the day. Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey. It is a decision you make every moment, and you need to fight for it and protect it because it is fragile. 

Own every day and live it on purpose. Rise above negativity, don't dwell in it. Maintain an aura of good vibes consistently through the week, and your outlook on life, your stress levels and your productivity will improve.

Good vibes or positive energy are so important, as they form the environment in which your growth takes place. Picture a plant, whether or not it grows to its full potential or grows at all is entirely reliant on its environment. You are the same. You will never reach your full potential if you allow your environment to be polluted on a daily basis. Fight for your happiness, every day is your life.

Happy Saturday,

Life by Lois

TGIF? The whole system is wrong.

Thank God it is Friday. Of all the days of the week Friday receives the most love. We may be considered a thankless secular nation yet Friday has us thanking God- because on Friday the freedom bells ring. Each week on the 5th day we band together with colleges and friends to celebrate the end of the week as if it is the end of a jail sentence. 

If that is exactly what it feels like to you,  I want you to ask yourself an honest question- does your living for the weekend equate to you living life JUST on the weekend? Have you signed away the other 5 days of your life in exchange for 2?

We live in a culture where it is totally acceptable to not love what you do. In fact that is putting it mildly, many people openly hate what they do. In society the things we love doing have been assigned the frilly word 'hobby', and should not be taken seriously. Work however, is a 'chore' and 'chores' should not be fun. 

When choosing a path in life, many of us navigate on the default assumption that happiness is an illegitimate factor for consideration. Perhaps this is because growing up, throughout religion and in school, we are taught that sacrifice is the holiest of deeds. We are taught that when it comes to work, sacrifice is required, and we all too readily sign away our happiness for 'practical' reasons. At some point in our 20's we killed our childish dreams, stopped stargazing and just kept our heads down. 

Well today I am challenging the status quo.

I say it is actually more harmful to society to sacrifice your happiness. As Marianne Williamson says, "Your playing small does not serve the world". Where would we be if The Wright Brothers had not pursued their passion of flight, or Beethoven of music or Einstein of science? Where would we be if Richard Branson had stayed in school?

It is a proven fact, you perform at your greatest potential when you do what you love, and the whole world (including you ) benefits too.When you love what you do you are more creative, more innovative and more successful. The sky really is the limit. 

You are an individual and you are unique. It is not OK to be a square peg in a round hole and just keep going on that way. Somewhere there is a square hole just for you. 

It is never too late to rethink things, Samuel Jackson only started acting in his 40s.

It is time to love Mondays. It is time to do the world and yourself a favour. It is time to be happy.

Choose a job you love, and never work a day in your life (Confucius)

Life By Lois

6 things to stop apologising for. Now.

If you are anything like me, you fall into an apology before you have even noticed one stumbling out your mouth. Whilst I am a big fan of apologies when they are genuinely due, if you over apologise for things- it just makes you look weak, and the other person assume it is OK to treat you that way. So for all of you self deprecating sweet hearts, here are 6 times its totally ok to not be sorry.

1. Feeling like you are not in the right place despite it looking like a great path to others.

This one applies to work and relationships, and stems from caring what others think, to your detriment. If you find yourself in a relationship that just doesn't feel right for no other reason other than you know its not for you- or a job which would be perfect for millions of other people but it just doesn't feel right to you- stop apologising, and devaluing your feelings. I read a great quote off of an Instagram picture yesterday, it said " Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back". This is so true for so many people and is the main reason we apologise and look to others to validate our core feelings about life. But I say stop that right now. You are an individual and whilst taking girlfriends to the loo together for moral support is a childhood habit many of us still practice, needing to validate our core feelings past every friend, and then disregarding them if no one agrees needs to stop. Take your feelings seriously, it is your life.

2. Wanting your space.

This one is a common one. Your friends or even your partner wants to hang out and you just want your space, but you feel awful for it. Well I say don't. In this life what I am realising increasingly is that the only thing that can keep you going, is the strength you build up from within. So invest in yourself. Invest in thinking positively, being alone and getting to know yourself. Alone time and wanting your space is not anti social it is actually pro social because you can only be the best friend, girlfriend, sister, brother, boyfriend, husband or wife if you are the best you.  So take that time. And stop apologising.

3. Out growing people.

This is a toughie. You have a set of friends or a certain friend that you have known for a while, and as the time moves on you realise that you have outgrown them. It is awkward because you may feel bad but the more you hang out the things that used to seem ok to you just aren't anymore. Well in my opinion this is perfectly natural, we are all on a different path and it is inevitable that you will out grow some people- in fact it's healthy! Instead of trying to change them accept things have changed and move on before things get ugly. 

4. Not putting up with others mess.

Since we were kids we were told to be long suffering, that patience was a virtue. One look at your mother or grandmother probably reminds you of a lifetime of prayer & disappointment that putting up with others mess will bring. Now I come from the new school of life. That is you only get one life (that you know of) so stop martyring your self for others. Stop putting up with those who put you down, walk all over you and take but never give. Stop putting up with those who embarrass you in public. Some people will treat you badly, and then somehow get mad at you for calling it out. I say stop apologising and tell it like it is. Oh and if this is a reoccurring event, refer to point 3, you have out grown them.

5. Feeling demotivated.

Why should you not apologise for this one? Because it happens that's why. Rather than constantly apologise, I say look at the root of what is causing your demotivation. Is it energy related? If so go to the docs and check your hormone & vitamin levels. If it is work related- take a look at why you feel that way. Is this really what you want to do? It is never too late to reevaluate your life.

6. Not having it all figured out.

It is ok not to have an answer for everything in life, be it religion, work, relationships. Life is a journey and if you keep positive and open to it, you can make some wonderful discoveries. The most important thing is that you stay honest about what you like and what you don't like, without fear- as these are the indicators to what will make you happy in life. For example, if you feel you should marry for love & money is not your main priority in life - don't settle for a rich man you don't love because others feel you should. Take your own priorities seriously and let them guide you to the right thing in life. Remember - you can have anything you want in life, if you only have the courage to admit it to yourself. So take time getting to know yourself, and admit what YOU want and need without fear. Then go get it. And don't worry if you don't have it all figured out on paper to show others. True growth happens from within and just because it is not yet externally visible does not mean it doesn't count.