It's my favourite scene in the movie Bridesmaids when Megan beats lead character Annie, screaming "I am life, I am gonna bite you in the ass, what are you gonna do about it? I am trying to get you to fight for your shitty little life". Annie of course, was in the middle of an epic pity party. Everything had fallen apart, her relationship (nothing makes the sky greyer than love trouble), her job (which she hated anyway, but still), her apartment ( where she lived with weirdo's but at least it was some shred of independence) and now she finds her self stuck at her mothers house jobless, whilst her friends appear to be living epic lives.
How many of us have felt this way? Well fine if the rest of you wont raise your precious little hands, but I know I have. That feeling when the sky is just falling down and you don't have the energy, or even know how to put it back up again. In those moments, its often easier to welcome defeat, put on a cloak of excuses and wait for the world to swallow you up or a miracle to happen. Now wound licking is cool for a few days - heck maybe a week... but it cannot last forever. In Megan's words "I am life, beating the crap out of you". This article is for anyone who has ever lost their footing...How to fight for your shitty little life.
1. Put away any childish expectations that life is straight forward.
Because its not. This is one reason why people feel so shit. When life kicks them in the ass, they are somehow surprised. Well stop that nonsense now. Life is a boxing match, be prepared to fight, be prepared to be knocked down - and be prepared to get back up and win. Once you adjust these expectations, you can stop judging, condemning & guilt tripping yourself for experiencing one of the most common events in life: set backs. Now the reason I put those emotions in italics just there is because they are useless feelings to snap out of. They end up in self pity. You have suffered a set back? So what. So have lots of people. This is life, and beating yourself up is not going to solve anything. In fact, now is the time to get up and start learning from your mistakes. Like a boxer- it is time to retrain for the next show down.
2. Put on your blinkers
So I have started on this boxing analogy, and what the heck- I like it so I will continue. So there you are. Just suffered a defeating match, and you are retraining to win. First of all- congratulations for getting back up. Now you are up there is one thing you cannot afford to do and that is pay attention, mind and energy to your competition. No, you are not fighting their fight, you are fighting your fight. You have to work on YOU. So pay no mind to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and all the accounts of everyone who appears to be doing better than you. You need to focus, this is strategy time.
3. Strategy Time.
So now that you are in strategy mode, take an honest, non judgemental look at what went wrong last time. Now in the Bridesmaid film, she lost her job. But she hated her job anyway. Chances were that if she had not of got fired she would have left. Important life note: There is no point getting up if you are going to remake the same mistakes. Learn from them. In the film, the reason why she worked at that job she hated was because she tried her passion (it was having her own bakery) and it hadn't worked out. As a result she was stuck in a rut due to fear of failure. Now let me tell you something for free, fear of failure is the kryptonite of success. Like I said in the boxing analogy- expect to fail until you win. Stop letting it be a surprise. Once it is no longer a surprise it is no longer something that can frighten you. Admit what your dream is and start to strategise towards it. I don't care how small or big the steps to getting what you truly want out of life are. Just plan, draw the path to your dream and execute. Picture the glory end goal that dream is your motivation.
4. Winning Mentality
I have said this in previous post but I will say it again. You can have anything you want in life if you only have the courage to admit to yourself what it is. I don't care how crazy amazing it is. Admit it, and visualise it. Let this form your winners mindset. You have a goal and expect to win. So, every step you take on your planned path to your dream, take that step like a winner. Jump right in.
I was watching a video by motivational speaker Eric Thomas (click link to watch) and he was saying , I am paraphrasing" you deserve to see what your life is like if you put in 120%...All this time you have been putting in 70%, 80% and you have been seeing - 70%, 80% rewards. It is time for you to experience the benefits of life at 120%. Now there is a reason that I asked you to admit what you really want and set an end goal. And that is because, you can only put in 120% consistently if you know you are doing it for YOU. It is important that you have what you will get out of this in mind as it will keep you going through the hard times.
5. Ignore Nay sayers & stick to the plan.
Back to the boxer analogy. So you are back in the gym, back on the training plan. Eating like a pro. Now a lot of your friends will not be doing life the same way as you, a few people may have some things to say about what your doing, ignore them. They are on a different plan. Here is another rule. If you want extraordinary rewards, expect an extraordinary path. Your path wont be like theirs because your goal isn't the same. Your goal is yours. I would actually go as far to say keep your plan to yourself, and share it only with other like minded and truly supportive people. It is precious, like a small plant it needs positive energy to grow. Do not doubt your path because its off course compared to others. For example, say your dream was to become an athlete. That does not pay out initially. So you may have to get a part time job to fund your dream. Whilst your other friends are in 9-5's you may feel like a looser, because on paper it looks like you haven't got things together. I say ignore the paper. This is why you need to stay focussed. The only person who needs to believe in the plan is you. Do not get trapped by labels. Do not give up your dream so you can rattle off some semi impressive job title- that you know others would love but you personally will hate. Live for you, answer to yourself... You only get one life.
I hope this post has helped someone who has felt like giving up, or has ever doubted their dream. Writing this has even helped me. In closing let me say this: never forget that life is a match. A violent match. Expect setbacks, but also expect the glory. And when you reach your goal, you may have to defend your title. So always keep in peak condition, and always keep improving. It is not over till its over. Never stop investing in you.
You can do it. Happy Monday.
Life by Lois
x
And here it is the scene that started this, enjoy!
