We live in a share happy culture. We share what is awesome about us and hide what isn't. We shout about our success and quietly cry about our failures. Whilst sharing is portrayed as liberating, in reality it is actually crippling due to the reverse side of the coin- the things a perfect image makes you hide.
Keeping up appearances is nothing new-portraying a perfect life, at odds with reality, is a game as old as time. Whether it is posing perfectly at church minutes after screaming at each other in the car or having an argument with your partner before smiling for a family photo- we have all been there. Whilst the game may be old, social media has upped the stakes.
When appearances were maintained as a family, failures were handled in the family which allowed for some sort of support. However now, because we enthusiastically share every step on the path to success publicly, we have created a captive audience (many of whom we don't actually know or care too much about) who we 'report to'. On the flip side when things go wrong, even though we keep this to ourselves, the weight of the audiences judgement remains, resulting in us mourning our personal failures in pressured isolation.
This is what makes failure so terrifying. As I said in my last post, fear of failure is the kryptonite of success. Failures, setbacks, trials- they're all a part of life and are steps on the way to your goal.
Being afraid of failure is what makes you so afraid of trying again, and that is what will keep you from success.
My remedy to society?
1.Stop working so hard on your external image, and start working internally.
2.Nurture your dreams like plants, grow them. When good news happens- bank it for yourself- it is yours not the worlds.
3.Protect your dreams by keeping them to yourself in the formative stages- they are fragile. Tread each step on the path to success confidently and quietly.
By doing this, when you experience a setback, it will not be so powerful because you do not have to worry about your PR image. Figure it out for yourself. The world can wait.
It is time to take the power out of fear. The best way to do it is to ban the audience.
Love,
Lois
Life By Lois
