Reset Monday. Change your outlook, Change your life.

Although loathed the world over, one thing that can be said for Mondays, they offer the opportunity of a fresh start, and a renewed outlook on life.

I came across the following video last night and had to share. It is all about repositioning your outlook on life. As opposed to looking to take, you are looking to give. Give your talents, your time, your love and apply this outlook to every challenge and moment you engage in today.

For example, 

on the bus: give a smile: you are giving someone else the opportunity to smile.

at work: give 100%: you are giving your colleagues an opportunity to experience you at your best

with friends and family: give 100% attention: you are giving them the chance to truly connect with you.

The great thing about giving is you receive. It's a fact of life. As you approach the day, not from "what can I take?", rather "what can I give?", the day will open up for you, opportunities will make themselves available to you, and you will attract more giving like minded people.

You were made to give your greatness, and you have it in abundance. Today, share it.

Video: Michael Jr.  on Giving- I like Laughter

Morning Motivation: Lessons From Will Smith

It's Tuesday, and the fortunate of you will still be feeling fresh from the weekend, the other half however will be transfixed on the seemingly endless expanse of weekdays left before Friday. Whichever side of the glass half full camp you belong to, I thought it would be a good idea to share a motivational message I came across by none other than Will Smith.

For me, Will Smith is the picture of success. Not just because he is rich, talented and has a great family, a lot of it is because he is unapologetically himself, and comfortable in his own skin. He seems so sure, and focussed. Many people have good things, but how wonderful it would be to actually love your self and be happy when you get them. So what can we learn from Hollywoods leading man.

Lesson 1. Set your destination"You can have anything you want if you just decide"- Will Smith

What are you running to? Where are you trying to go? Without this being figured out, everything else in life can seem meaningless. Knowing your destination brings purpose to your life, happiness optimism and hope. You are not a piece of driftwood in the sea, you are in command of your own life. I don't care how big or ridiculous what you want is, decide what it is and set your compass in that direction. Do you think it made sense when Christopher Columbus set out to discover the new world? Or Armstrong the moon. Yet there you are in America, and there are men walking on the moon. There is a power to making a decision a destination and visualising the finish line. The universe responds and gets behind your wishes. So in the words of Will Smith "Just decide". Its the hardest part.

Lesson 2. Focus on building the wall brick by brick

Will Smith told a story about how when he was a child his father challenged he and his brother to build a huge wall. Obviously being children, they had never built a wall, and had no idea how to. When they asked their father how they could possibly build this wall, he responded 'brick by brick'. And so although it took forever, Will and his brother focussed on laying every brick perfectly. Instead of focussing on the huge challenge ahead and getting overwhelmed, they instead focussed on what they could control in the now- laying each brick to the best of their ability. It is the same with your life. If you look at where you want to be ultimately and compare it to where you are now it can seem so overwhelming, yet if you focus on doing today as good as you can, staying positive in every minute. Saying no to negativity and yes to hope, before you know it you will be one brick closer to building your dreams.

Lastly, be patient. It will take time but you will get there. Keep going.

Why The Loner Is Actually The Coolest Kid In School.

In our society we are obsessed with being popular and being validated externally. We regard likes & follows as currency & accumulate them as proof of our worth, existence and value.We judge how pretty we feel we are based on how many likes a selfie gets, or how loved we are, based on how many people wish us happy birthday, or how successful we are, based on how many followers we have on Twitter.

 No longer is our sacred inner bank of self worth built on the gold standard of our own essence of self- rather we have traded that reliable matrix for a new, shoddy one. One that is rooted in whispers, and the public opinion of those who may not even know us. We entrust our intimate definition of self, to strangers, and in doing so we loose our strength.

The most accepted of society are the most vulnerable. Those who are pretty, and have always been told so, those who are gifted, and have been constantly praised. Those who have enjoyed and come to rely upon the sweet taste of external approval. Due to never having to generate their sense of worth internally, when they need to believe in themselves, they rely on others believing first, and so are always dependant on public opinion. It is a dangerous way to live. By cherishing the valuations of those external to us over our own, we devalue our opinion of ourself. It is time to break the cycle.

A lot of people ask me how I am so confident in myself, why I believe I am beautiful, and will say so. Why I believe I am smart, and tell myself. I will tell you why. When I was younger I was never the guys pick. I was never the prettiest, I was never the smartest in class. Others would receive praise from teachers, adults, peers, and I would wait my turn. My chance to be told I was beautiful, the cutest, the best and you know what? That pat on the head never came and so I had to switch the system. I was so done waiting for everyone else's approval I decided to sit in front of the mirror and give it to myself.

 I looked and I said, you know what? I think I am pretty. And I worked on improving the parts of me I felt needed working on. I sat down and started to spend time doing more of what I loved to do (writing) and I said to myself, I am pretty good at that too. I spent the time to get to know and to value myself and built an unshakable internal confidence. Your opinion of me? Is just that, YOUR opinion. Someone else's opinion of you? It's theirs, their problem. Constructive criticism has its place, but you must not allow sense of SELF to be formed and demolished based on others. Who are they anyway? Do they have to live with you? Are they going to get you where you need to be? No. Only you can do that, do don't let others break down your vehicle, in favour of their occasional lift.

Understand this- people make throw away comments all the time. Just look at internet trolls. The comments that you allow to rock your world? They wont loose a wink of sleep on. So honey, get some self respect and start to be the keeper of your worth.

It is time to be like the loner in school. That kid who has no friends and no one to tell them they are awesome, yet still comes in every day& fights on. Take time to tell yourself you are beautiful, that you are smart that you are worthy. Take time to believe it. Take time to enhance your strongest parts and improve on your weaknesses. Take time to believe in you and become the best you. Invest in yourself, study, grow. And lastly, my precious, don't you EVER allow another person to destroy your self worth again. You are valuable. You are the best you, you are unique. Trust and believe.

Any questions, comments or things you would like my advice on? Email info@lifebylois.com

Love,

Life by Lois








 We uphold those in society

#TBT: Revive your inner child

I used to find all the talk of following dreams a little bit frustrating, chiefly because whilst others seemed to immediately know exactly what they wanted to be, for me it was not always so clear. I suppose a gap year would have been useful to ‘figure things out’ or ‘find myself’ but unfortunately life needed immediate attending to, and so I shelved self discovery in favour of self survival.

It was not until recently that I decided to take a retrospective look inward. I realised that in order to go forward I needed to travel back and consult someone that I had hushed, silenced and abused... my inner child. 

The voice of my inner child was weak, but it was still there. It was her who had always known what I wanted and what kind of person I should be, but very early on I had silenced her voice. Every time I embraced reality and neglected my hopes, or accepted other peoples negativity as truth over my own, I had hushed that voice that could ultimately free me.

I recently read this story and it inspired me. Meet Cory Neives, the 10 year old CEO of Mr Cory's Cookies, a business he initially started to help fund his mum buy a car, and now is very successful. How amazing is that? Forget the odds, this kid gets it. I am so glad he got to stretch his dreams before the world told him they weren't practical.

Your inner child is so important, because it is you before the worlds reality kicked in (and the worlds reality is BS). It is you at your most optimistic, your bravest and your most creative. Ask children who they want to be now, and then ask them in 20 years who they are and for the majority of them it wont match up. Usually this is not because what they wanted has changed, rather it is because they took an easier path, gave up or gave in to circumstances. Yet if Oprah can go from dirt poor, black and born in the wrong era to be a woman, to a billionaire major influencer, anything is possible. Reality has it’s place, but so does dreaming. It is all about persistence.

If you have neglected your inner child, it is time to apologise to yourself and slowly embark on the road to self restoration. Life is all a matrix, in order to learn how to manipulate its structure, you must first understand your own.

Like I said before, you can have what ever you want if you can only find the strength to admit it to yourself. Give the kid inside a microphone.