Jennifer Lawrence, Jenifer Aniston and Solange: The benefits of beingunapologetically you.

As Jennifer Lawrence launches the new Hunger Games movie, Jenifer Aniston launches Horrible Bosses 2 and Solange Knowles gets married in a refreshingly  original wedding for the books, I have to sit back and admire what a wonderful month this has been for women who are unapologetically themselves. All of the women aforementioned have managed to stay refreshingly and authentically original, in an industry and media that piles on the pressure to conform.

Jennifer Lawrence 

                           

Let's start with Jennifer Lawrence, the irreverent  talented actress who stumbled at the Oscars, not once but twice. I love Jennifer for her unpredicable bursts, refusal to engage in bitchy woman bashing, outspoken nature and of course the fact she represents 5 charities. I have no doubt that this untameable shrew  would be a publicists worst nightmare, unpredicatable & candid, she certainly isn't just tits and smiles. And yet we love her. Because she reminds us we are all flawed, yet beautifully so.

Jenifer Aniston

                              

                       

And then there is Jen, who in a sea of being annoyingly compared to Angelina by the cruel and unimaginative media, still holds her head high and occasionally even makes light of the matter. Years after the original scandal, thousands of tabloid covers have been written- mocking, stabbing and biting at her- and you know what? No one has seen her break a sweat yet. 

Solange Knowles 

                             

Then we have Solange, who instead of linger in the shadow of her sister, chose to make her own sunshine and grow. I  read an annoying quote once, it went something like "always be yourself, unless you can be Beyonce, then always be Beyonce". What rubbish. No one can be Beyonce, except Beyonce ( and I am sure sometimes even she must struggle to meet the high standards of her public image). No one should try either, because each person has their own original magnificence to share. No one epitomises this more than Solange, who although being in prime position to take notes on copying Beyonce, chose to instead be herself. Afro and all, wedding and all, eclectic style, music and all. Solange I admire and salute you.

So my note today is be yourself. Always and with no exceptions. Don't you dare want to be anyone else. Because there is only one you, and when you perfect being you, the world will be blessed & so will you. 

Happy Tuesday y'all

Love 

Life by Lois

Why The Loner Is Actually The Coolest Kid In School.

In our society we are obsessed with being popular and being validated externally. We regard likes & follows as currency & accumulate them as proof of our worth, existence and value.We judge how pretty we feel we are based on how many likes a selfie gets, or how loved we are, based on how many people wish us happy birthday, or how successful we are, based on how many followers we have on Twitter.

 No longer is our sacred inner bank of self worth built on the gold standard of our own essence of self- rather we have traded that reliable matrix for a new, shoddy one. One that is rooted in whispers, and the public opinion of those who may not even know us. We entrust our intimate definition of self, to strangers, and in doing so we loose our strength.

The most accepted of society are the most vulnerable. Those who are pretty, and have always been told so, those who are gifted, and have been constantly praised. Those who have enjoyed and come to rely upon the sweet taste of external approval. Due to never having to generate their sense of worth internally, when they need to believe in themselves, they rely on others believing first, and so are always dependant on public opinion. It is a dangerous way to live. By cherishing the valuations of those external to us over our own, we devalue our opinion of ourself. It is time to break the cycle.

A lot of people ask me how I am so confident in myself, why I believe I am beautiful, and will say so. Why I believe I am smart, and tell myself. I will tell you why. When I was younger I was never the guys pick. I was never the prettiest, I was never the smartest in class. Others would receive praise from teachers, adults, peers, and I would wait my turn. My chance to be told I was beautiful, the cutest, the best and you know what? That pat on the head never came and so I had to switch the system. I was so done waiting for everyone else's approval I decided to sit in front of the mirror and give it to myself.

 I looked and I said, you know what? I think I am pretty. And I worked on improving the parts of me I felt needed working on. I sat down and started to spend time doing more of what I loved to do (writing) and I said to myself, I am pretty good at that too. I spent the time to get to know and to value myself and built an unshakable internal confidence. Your opinion of me? Is just that, YOUR opinion. Someone else's opinion of you? It's theirs, their problem. Constructive criticism has its place, but you must not allow sense of SELF to be formed and demolished based on others. Who are they anyway? Do they have to live with you? Are they going to get you where you need to be? No. Only you can do that, do don't let others break down your vehicle, in favour of their occasional lift.

Understand this- people make throw away comments all the time. Just look at internet trolls. The comments that you allow to rock your world? They wont loose a wink of sleep on. So honey, get some self respect and start to be the keeper of your worth.

It is time to be like the loner in school. That kid who has no friends and no one to tell them they are awesome, yet still comes in every day& fights on. Take time to tell yourself you are beautiful, that you are smart that you are worthy. Take time to believe it. Take time to enhance your strongest parts and improve on your weaknesses. Take time to believe in you and become the best you. Invest in yourself, study, grow. And lastly, my precious, don't you EVER allow another person to destroy your self worth again. You are valuable. You are the best you, you are unique. Trust and believe.

Any questions, comments or things you would like my advice on? Email info@lifebylois.com

Love,

Life by Lois








 We uphold those in society